Fear can come in infinite forms, and during many people’s lives, they spend their time running away from their fears. As a result of not facing fears head-on, people miss out on a chance to overcome the mental obstacles that hold them back. Additionally, there are commonly held fears that are completely irrational. In my opinion, one of the most groundless fears is the constant worry of what other people think. Hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people let the words of their peers drive their emotions and subsequently, their behavior. In reality, it is highly probable that most people are too worried about their own problems to judge the strangers they see on the street. And even if there are many people who judge others constantly, who even cares? Why does it matter if you make a good impression on someone if you are not being your true self? Overall, this fear prevents people from being themselves and pushes our society to conform to the widely-held norms instead of acting as unique individuals who all have something special to bring to the table.
I will admit, I would be a hypocrite if I said that this fear has never affected me or that I never worry about the inner thoughts of others. For a large segment of my life, I allowed the negative perceptions of others to run my entire existence, losing part of myself in the process. As I attempted to navigate the treacherous waters of a public middle school, a place where bullying and judging are extremely prevalent, I was called a diverse array of names which broke me down on a daily basis. The most consistent nickname I was given was “Try Hard.” As a very competitive teenager, I tried my absolute hardest in every aspect of my life, whether it was in the classroom, during recess, and on any athletic field/court. My peers may have felt a little intimidated by my work ethic, but I was too young to understand at the time. There may have been a sense of intimidation felt by my peers at the time due to my work ethic, but I was a little too young to understand that. At first I was extremely confused because I had always been taught that I was supposed to be passionate about school and my hobbies. The everyday comments I heard, however, challenged that notion for me. I struggled to stay motivated as I worried about how my peers would perceive my actions. I even went to extreme lengths to play it cool when the popular kids were watching so that I could avoid their hurtful comments. Looking back on it now, I wish I was not so sensitive but I was just a middle school kid, and their words stung.
As I started to mature and confide in my parents, they taught me that it was important to shake off the negative comments. I slowly started to be myself more often, resuming my “Try Hard” status little by little. My classmates followed suit though, calling me a “Try Hard every chance they got. These times though, I did not react to their words and instead did not give them the result they wanted. I realized that seeing me upset was their master plan the entire time so if I did not give them a reaction, they would stop. I turned out to be right. After a week of the usual insults, they started to disappear and I was extremely proud of myself for tuning out the outside noise and focusing on what was important to me.
I feel as if there are way too many people who overthink their every move, which stresses them out to an incomparable level. Many teenagers act a certain way to be popular or to fit in with a group of kids. But is it really worth it to act inauthentic to fit into a group who doesn’t even know the real you? From my experience, I do not believe it is worth it. While society may seem to conform around you, I believe that you should take a step back and think about what is important to you: following the opinions of others or being your true self. As we continue to grow up (regardless of how old we get) and learn from our experiences, I hope we can accept how unique we are and contribute those characteristics to make the world a more diverse and accepting place.
